The most insidious and damaging identity lie victims of sexual abuse believe is that they…
Repairer of the Breach
(Jesus in our hearts…)
My beloveds, dear ones held so close,
I invite you to hear, penetrated with all my tender love, these words from My prophet Isaiah,
“O afflicted one, storm-battered and unconsoled,
I lay your pavements in carnelians, and your foundations in sapphires;
I will make your battlements of rubies and your gates of carbuncles, and all your walls of precious stones,
All your sons shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.
In justice shall you be established, far from the fear of oppression, where destruction cannot come near you…
Lo, I have created the craftsman who blows on the burning coals and forges weapons as his work;
It is I also who have created the destroyer to work havoc.
No weapon fashioned against you shall prevail; every tongue you shall prove false that launches an accusation against you.
This is the lot of the servants of the Lord, their vindication from me, says the Lord.” (Is. 54:11-15,17)
Does there seem to be a destroyer working havoc in your life right now? Do you sense oppression, even destruction? Are there tongues launching accusations against you? Does your heart ache with treasured sons and daughters wandering far from being taught by Me?
My cherished ones, there is no place you can go where I haven’t gone before you. I AM the afflicted one, storm-battered and unconsoled, even as my Father sends an angel to comfort me, in my agony in the garden. I learned those words of Isaiah’s at the feet of my Mother Mary and Father Joseph, and I became them that night. I entered with every fiber of my being into the depths of human darkness, fear, hopelessness, anxiety, betrayal, injustice, false accusation. I could feel profoundly that the pain of sin undealt with in the hearts of my immediate captors, and through them all the “captors” of human history, was being transferred into my own heart. All the abandonments, all the rejections, all the unfairnesses, all the angers, all the belittlings these captors had experienced–all the unexamined damage in their souls–had found its target. Their alienation from their Source became my alienation from My Father. It was that unbearable distance from the One inseparable from my soul which caused my very capillaries to burst. I was–I AM–those burning coals being blown upon by the breath of the Holy Spirit, the craftsman. I was, just as Isaiah described, being forged as the weapon for His work, by my “yes” to open my porous soul to the sin of others, so as to repair the havoc wrought by the destroyer, whom my Father created with free will.
My beloveds, will you say “yes” with me? Will you not resist being, with me in My passion, those burning coals upon whom the Spirit is blowing? When you sense the destroyer working havoc in your lives, it is for one purpose: to expose the unexamined barriers to my love that have come down the generations, whether in your own family line or, as spiritual mothers, in the family lines constituting my Father’s Kingdom. I am asking you to stand in the middle with me, as I AM on that cross between heaven and earth, as weapons forged for the Father’s work of redemption and restoration. I am inviting you to stand in the breach with me, to allow me to live My life in you so that the mighty “yes” of our drinking the cup of suffering offered to us will flow back the generations and forward the generations to say NO MORE to the oppression and destruction that has come near us. NO MORE to captors and captivity.
I see how your tender, feminine hearts intuit all in your family life that is not aligned with the Communion of Love My Father and I created your homes to be. I see the yearning in your hearts to provide this Communion of Love for yourselves, your spouses, your children, and the helplessness you feel in bringing it about. But I promise you, you are not helpless. I stand in the breach with you. I take on, with you, the sin you feel coming at you. Then, if you surrender it to me, in my own body I bear it away on the cross (1 Pet. 2:24).
Will you allow me, since I have borne them already, to help you recognize the lies, the accusations against you, whether in the past or in the present, either internally or externally? Will you renounce them with me? Will you let me show you clearly the weapons fashioned against you–the diminishments, the carelessnesses with your heart–so that you can see them through My eyes? Will you recognize that the pain you bear often belongs to a mother, a father, a spouse, a teacher, an employer–which they would not or could not bear for themselves and unwittingly transferred to you? Will you allow me to reveal to you the vows which you have made in self-protection against these things…the “I will never-s” that hold you bound? Will you let me bind to Myself the fortifications you have erected around your heart? You needed these to survive trauma, but now they poison your life, and potentially the generations to follow–except for OUR remedy! Will you BE the remedy with me? Will you let me stop, through your docility to My work, the father of lies and the accuser of the brethren from leaking into future generations?
My dear ones, my Father has created your femininity with a particular penchant for receiving, for being porous, for carrying life, for nurturing, for consoling. The enemy of your souls specializes in twisting these gifts so that you become enmeshed in the darkness of the offense committed against you–you absorb it, carry it, bear its shame as your own. Will you renounce being a victim of this pain–this abandonment, this rejection, this dishonoring of you, my sister, my bride–and allow Me to give you the gift of divine objectivity and name the sin committed against you as sin? I will show you that this is not disloyalty, but love. A murky fear of “condemning” another when we know our own weakness accomplishes nothing but trapping us in foggy anguish. My storm-battered body on the cross is a visual of the effect of the offense committed against you. The wounding is severe and not to be minimized–look at my body on the cross and see yourself mirrored, my precious one! My beloveds well know that I died for their sins, but I yearn for their hearts to understand, and deeply, that I bear the sins committed against them, as well. I have already absorbed this wounding for you, my dear ones, and at a price, so I beg you as your loving Lord in need of consolation, to let me carry it and bear its shame! Touch the hem of my garment, stand straight up, name the offense committed against you, give it over into my body on the cross and let me carry it. This is freedom! Objectivizing the sin allows separating the sin from the sinner. Forgiveness, after this awareness, is relieving! So much easier, now “hating the sin,” to “love the sinner.” Have courage. You are used to having the fuzziness of sin/self-reproach/self-doubt muddy my living waters. To be raised up and, clothed with my dignity, dis-own what was not yours in the first place, is new behavior! But what delight I take in it. Clear sight, even in searing pain like mine on the cross, makes way for “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” When you and I see objectively together, you will find the rage prompted so often by the scorn of others softening into compassion. Compassion tells us that the “stinger” has been removed. Even the places in your bodies in which the damage has been stored share in this relief.
And do not fear–I hear your plea, my beloved who so desires oneness with My heart, to be accountable for your own part in the anguish you experience. I see that you suspect self-justification, self-preservation, your own ego. I see that you are wary of the filter your own wounds give you. We will get to those things. But while they are entangled with the pain of present circumstances, there can be only sticky muck. One step at a time. The first is to let me have your pain. “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-burdened.” I am “the man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” I am the your apple tree in the Song of Songs. I am the coolest, safest shade. You who have had no voice, I call to you to come out from the clefts of the rock and let me hear everything in your heart (S.O.S.2:14). I have no judgment, only tender acceptance. I am enough for your “not-enoughness.” You know as a mother, only when the anguished child on your lap has cried it all out can he or she finally get perspective. She knows her child. She knows the timing. I know your timing, my beloved. We are on a journey together. In your experience, conviction of your own sin has to do with condemnation, with shaming. When you know in the depths of your being that my left hand is under your head and that my right embraces you (S.O.S.2:6), that I didn’t come into the world to condemn you but to save (salve–heal, Jn.3: 17) you, then conviction of the barriers to our intimacy, and your intimacy with others, will be only relieving, freeing–even joyful! In fact, it is in the intimacy of my compassion for you that self-discovery will occur, not from your fear-and-guilt-tinged interior probing and picking. “In justice shall you be established–far from the fear of oppression, where destruction cannot come near you.” Never forget, my beloved, that My spirit within you “leads you into all truth” always as your Advocate and your Consoler (Jn. 14:26). We are your vindication. We lead you. We say, let us tell you who you are. Your own filter is not trustworthy. Your Bridegroom’s filter–that’s the one to seek!
For the sake of the joy that lies before us, (Heb. 12:2) will you say “yes’ with Me to being forged as a weapon for my Father’s work? Will you allow every moment of your life to be lived in intimacy with Me, your Bridegroom? When pain sears and you allow me to share it with you, to lift it with mine to the Father, you fill up what is lacking in My sufferings for the sake of My body, the Church? (Col. 1:24). You cannot see, with your limited vision, what glories your “yes” contributes to the sanctifying of the generations, both backward and forward. You cannot know fully how your “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do,” united with mine, releases your predecessors from Purgatory, and seals off any entree dark spirits may have in your progeny. But I know. I see the entire picture. My grateful promise to you is that I will complete the good work you and I have begun (Phil. 1:6). Our work is of such urgency! “I have come to light a fire on the earth. How I wish the blaze were ignited! What anguish I feel till it is over!” (Luke 12:49). Your “yes” relieves my anguish and consoles me eternally. Your bravery in working through the havoc caused by the destroyer rather than medicating it with avoidance allows my Redemption to penetrate the souls I died for in your family line. “All your sons shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.”
Every purification you endure has its eternal place in “Thy kingdom come…on earth as it is in heaven.” My loved ones, keep in mind these vital words, “for the sake of the joy…” Truly, what joy lies before us! As you learn to live every moment of your life in the safety of intimacy with Me, you will develop new eyes. You will begin to recognize within yourselves and in your families, both biological and spiritual, the foundations of sapphires steadily forming, the battlements of rubies growing stronger. You will become attuned to the glow of precious stones replacing defensive walls with transparent beauty. You will see that I AM at work, though your surrender, conforming you and your beloveds to me. I have deliberately placed you amidst the circumstances and personalities in your life so that you can be my instrument in reversing Satan’s strongholds. “The thief comes in to kill and steal and destroy, but I come to bring life, and life to the full” (Jn.10:10 ). No matter the discouragement you may feel–the seeming impenetrability of a soul, whether your own or another’s, the regressing instead of progressing which can seem so real–be assured: your “yes” has ongoing power. Your one-flesh union with your spouse, whether he is with you, separated from you, or deceased creates a powerful pathway for my Kingdom to come in his life, whether you see evidence of this or not. Your prayer-filled umbilical cord to your children carries My very life. I see the desires of your heart for your family. Your “yes” to stand in the breach with me, your absolute trust that I know what I am about in your life and the lives of your loved ones, quickens My completion of all you intuit as so incomplete and wanting. No matter what you experience at any given moment, I operate beneath the obvious. I am laying your pavements in carnelians.
I pray, my dear ones, that you hear these words of my prophet Isaiah with new ears, and that their mighty promise settle in your hearts:
“This…is the fasting that I wish: releasing those bound unjustly, untying the thongs of the yoke, setting free the oppressed, breaking every yoke…
Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and your wound shall quickly be healed; your vindication shall go before you,
and the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer, you shall cry for help, and he will say ‘Here I am!’
If you remove from your midst oppression, false accusation and malicious speech; If you bestow your bread on the hungry and satisfy the afflicted;
Then light shall rise for you in the darkness, and the gloom shall become for you like midday;
Then the lord will guide you always and give you plenty even on the parched land.
He will renew your strength and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring whose water never fails.
The ancient ruins shall be rebuilt for your sake, and the foundations from ages past you shall raise up;
‘Repairer of the breach,’ they shall call you, ‘Restorer of ruined homesteads.'” (Is. 58:6-12)
Jesus, what honor you give me–the ancient ruins rebuilt for my sake! What dignity, as repairer of the breach! What place, as the restorer of ruined homesteads! What bread to bestow on the hungry!
Through you, with you, in you…I say “yes.” Accomplish your full work through me, with me, in me, your bride. Spouses are never apart, but always one. May our oneness in the Eucharist strengthen me.
Dear, tender Mother Mary and dear, faithful St. Joseph, allow the homestead of perfect love you provided your Son to be my interior homestead. Intercede for me, that I may take my part, as you did with Jesus, in raising up the foundations from ages past so that His Kingdom may come.
Copyright 2021, Bonnie West
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