“I just can’t sense Jesus. I cannot feel Him close to me. I don’t sense…
I remember describing my weakness and stumblings to my spiritual director once, and he said to me, “You have a good understanding of your sin, but are you looking more at your sin or more at Jesus’ mercy for you?” Woah. Game changer.
We console Jesus’ Heart when we trust His mercy and nourish ourselves on His Love, more than feeding on our own sin and staring at ourselves and our weakness. We cannot fix ourselves by ourselves. We need to be saved from ourselves, and this is exactly what Jesus does for us – He has intervened and rescued us in His mercy. His Sacred Heart pines for us to simply say yes to His mercy, and to run for shelter in His wounded side, where we are made whole.
“Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
for in thee my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of thy wings I will take refuge,
till the storms of destruction pass by.”
– Psalm 57:1
Recently, I was at a joyous family gathering. In the midst of gobs of fun unity and jovial festivity, my heart was unintentionally hurt by a few small remarks that pricked sensitive spots in me. I felt like my butterfly wings got swiftly clipped, and I resorted to a tiny caterpillar. I felt vulnerable. I took refuge in the bathroom for a few minutes and talked it out with my sister who’s with our Lord now in Heaven, and who would completely understand my sensitive feelings. I quickly entered back into the conga line and the family talent show, and all was well.
The next day, I went to Mass, and during the Consecration, I pictured my husband’s tender look of love towards me that morning. With that, everything began to melt, and the tears started flowing and flowing… as Christ’s Body was lifted… and flowing… as Christ’s Blood was outpoured… and flowing, as He gave Himself to me in the Eucharist, and I received Him into my frail, fragile being. Jesus’ Love was knocking on the door of my heart.
I did not hear Jesus speak to me. I just felt His gentle, loving Presence, which resounded through me as penetrating, healing, embracing Love. If He had spoken, it may have sounded like this: “My beloved one, I love you tenderly in the secret recesses of your heart. I see you here. I know you here. And I love you so deeply and totally. I embrace you and I’m passionate about you just the way you are. You delight Me. Let Me heal you and love you where it hurts. Let Me be with you. I feel it all with you, and I hold you in Love.” I felt seen and loved, strengthened in being known and understood and met. Intimately, personally, in quiet, abiding Love.
This is what the Sacred Heart is for us. A safe refuge from all the hurts and arrows of this world. A comfort amidst our crosses. An embrace when we feel alone. A source of healing Love that tenderly goes into the ocean depths as life bounces us along on the surface’s choppy waters. Jesus invites us into His Sacred Heart, and makes of our poor, precious hearts, His home and refuge. What humility! Jesus, meek and humble of Heart, make our hearts like unto Thine!
Blessed Mother, whose womb held the tiny little growing Heart of our Savior beating under yours, lead us into this sure refuge, and share with us your Immaculate Heart, that we may be a shelter for our sweet Savior Bridegroom. Pour into us, Blessed Mother, your “bursts of fervent praise”, your adoration, trust, and surrender before the Sacred Heart of Christ Jesus! Amen!
Copyright 2021, Marian West Veilleux