Our Lady’s Roses of Tepyac

The feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe is celebrated on December 12th, the anniversary of the final apparition to Saint Juan Diego in 1531. In 2017, she drew near to me and comforted me in my suffering as I attempt to follow Jesus across the dry, barren, and frigid desert of divorce. For many years I had drawn close to Mother Mary but had no special devotion to or knowledge of Our Lady of Guadalupe beyond the stories I had read to my children. It was surprising to me when in 2018 my spiritual director, Father Michael Stalla, began sensing her saying “Roses of Tepeyac” during each of our sessions. But hindsight is always 20/20 and as Father Michael and I have reflected on those times in connection with all the Lord and Our Lady have done in my life since then, it all makes perfect sense!

When we first began feeling a call to increased devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe and to discerning the phrase “Roses of Tepeyac”, I was utilizing creativity and art therapy in my healing from the multiple traumas I had endured during my thirty year marriage. More precisely, I was using the image of trampled, defiled roses in much of my therapeutic art. The roses represented my weeping and wounded heart, mind, and body; the result of spousal betrayal and sexual abuse.

In July of 2019, during a Holy Hour, this thought pierced my heart, “What if women who were weeping and wounded in marriages that were in reality dry, barren, cold deserts where lust, violence, and domination masqueraded as love, were Our Lady’s living Roses of Tepeyac? What if these wounded roses could bloom again just as the roses in Mexico had bloomed in 1531? Maybe with the compassionate accompaniment of those who, like me, had been rescued by Jesus, there was hope for them too! Perhaps, a ministry under the patronage of Our Lady of Guadalupe could provide a spiritual “tilma” in which women would feel safely held and protected as they healed.”

This idea became the focus of my thoughts, research, and of course, my prayer. I began to develop a vision of what is now the ministry of Hope’s Garden.

The vision crystalized while participating in a Theology of the Body Institute pilgrimage to Mexico in October of 2019. It was there that I powerfully experienced Our Lady’s sorrow and compassion for victims of sexual and marital abuse. I spent much time in prayer in both the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe and the chapel on Tepeyac Hill. But the pilgrimage site that had a surprisingly profound impact on me was our visit to the Aztec temples. The tour guide spoke of the men and women who willingly went to their deaths as sacrifices to the sun god because they believed their lives were the sacrifice required to ensure the god’s kindness to their children. As I pondered how Our Lady’s appearance to Juan Diego and the codex on his tilma put an end to these human sacrifices, a connection to my own life and the human sacrifice in our time became clear.

Too many women sacrifice themselves – their hearts, bodies, identities, and dignity – because they erroneously believe God asks them to accept abuse, control, and acts of lust and depravity. The desecration of women, temples of the Holy Spirit, by means of pornography, sexual abuse, and domestic violence is a form of human sacrifice in our age.

Marriage is not justification for abuse and the violation of a woman’s dignity.

Our God, the God Who Our Lady of Guadalupe revealed to the Aztecs 500 years ago, is a God of love and mercy. He sent His only Son, Jesus, to be the One True sacrifice. He does not require wives and mothers to sacrifice themselves to the men who vowed to love, cherish, and protect them.

Addressing abuse in all its forms is crucial, for we were created by love, for love, not to harm one another or to be harmed. It is imperative to bring all forms of abuse to the light, including the hidden wounds within abusers themselves. As we strive to address and heal these wounds, we pave the way for the restoration of hearts, marriages, and families. And the restoration of the family is the foundation for the healing of God’s Church, and the world.

With mercy and love as our weapons, we can contribute to ending the prevailing culture of death and rebuilding a civilization rooted in life and love. The healing of hearts, marriages, and families is possible.

Our Lady of Guadalupe serves as a messenger of hope to the Roses of Tepeyac, assuring them that she and Jesus see them and know their pain. Enfolded in her mantle, they will bloom in unexpected places; redeemed, restored, and transformed into a beautiful bouquet for Christ, their Savior and Bridegroom.

Our Lady of Guadalupe desires to be a patroness of women who have been victims of marital abuse. Abortion is a form of human sacrifice and because domestic violence is soul murder, it too is a form of human sacrifice in our time.

But God’s message to abusers is also clear: His Son, born of a Woman, is the only Sacrifice ever needed. As Pope John Paul II said, “It is every man’s duty to uphold the dignity of every woman.” This most certainly is the duty of every husband, first and foremost, towards his wife.

St. Juan Diego will be a patron to all men, including those who have abused their wives. He will teach them to guard and protect Our Lady’s Roses with a humble Christ-like strength that respects their dignity. Like the stem that bears the thorns upholds the beautiful blossoming rose, men must uphold and protect the dignity of the women entrusted to them.

Our Lady of Guadalupe entrusted Juan Diego with gather and holding her roses of Tepeyac within his tilma and even though he protested saying he was too weak and poor, she assured him that in his faith and love of her, he had all he needed. May we also trust in Our Lady’s motherly care and concern and allow her to enfold us in her mantle. Her message to Juan Diego in December of 1531, is for each one of us today whether we are a wounded rose, a rose beginning to bloom again, or a man in need of healing.