Igniting the Fire of Divine Love

Inspired by the words of Revelation 3:15-16, St. Catherine of Siena wrote to one of her disciples,  “See that you are not lukewarm but on fire … If you are what you ought to be, you will light a fire not only here, but in all the world” (Letter T368).

The opening of the Song of Songs show a bride lit from within for love of her Divine Bridegroom. Let Him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth! the bride breathlessly exclaims. Her fervor is rich; she is eager to run in His footsteps, to follow Him with fiery passion. She’s filled with the flames of new love and all the happiness it promises.

Yet as life wears on, she becomes wearied. Lying on her bed at night, she hears her Bridegroom knocking, but she’s too tired to rise. I have taken off my tunic, am I to put it on again? I have washed my feet, am I to dirty them again? (Song 5:3).

She has turned lukewarm in her love for Jesus.

I pray not to become like the bride. I don’t want to be lukewarm in my love for my Divine Bridegroom. I long to set the world on fire for Him—to do His will in all things, at all times, without exception. Never would I willingly stray.

Or would I? For as I review my years of trauma, when I was engulfed in a toxic relationship that required all my daily energy, I realize I inadvertently let Him slip away. I was so exhausted I couldn’t open the door for the only One who could renew my strength and make me who I ought to be.

During a time of great suffering I wrote in my journal:

I have been withering. I have let my despair and stress take over and abide in me rather than allowing Christ to abide in me. I renounce the temptation and sin of despair, depression, stress and sorrow. I empty myself like a vessel at Cana so Christ may enter and abide in me. I am knocking. I need peace, and the only path to true peace is Christ; to abide in Him and He in me.

Jesus truly is the root and source of all healing. Even so, I let myself slip. Although I truly meant every word of that journal entry, only a few months later I began feeling even more stuck and numb, shocked and frozen. I allowed despair to overtake me. I didn’t even realize how much of myself had vanished—my creativity and my prayer life became lukewarm as I committed all my attention to emotional and psychological survival.

“The soul cannot but move: If she does not go forward, she turns back” (St. Catherine of Siena, Dialogue 49).

I’m not berating myself—Jesus forgives, and I didn’t slip back on purpose. Even so, I did let my trauma overwhelm me, and I gave in to the temptation to despair, which robbed me of my peace. I realize now that’s the opposite of what Jesus desires. He brings peace—a peace the world cannot give—and Divine Mercy. Rather than despair, I should have focused on Jesus, and relied on his strength in my weakness. In the kiss of His mouth, I find my spiritual peace and quiet.

“You know that peace is given with the mouth … the soul finds such a peace that there is nothing that can disturb her” (St. Catherine of Siena, Dialogue 76). And so it is with my soul, once I let Him embrace me with His fragrant love.

Jenny duBay, Copyright 2025